Underlying Beliefs with Prabha C.

Part 1) 1/9/2012  12pm

- We need to be careful not to let our underlying beliefs influence the goals for the client.
- How to interact with clients that have different underlying beliefs.
- How can I support my client?
- Need Awareness of differences, acknowledge the differences, and respect their views.
- 1. Acknowledge where we come from.  2. Acknowledge where the client comes from.
- Our beliefs are like colored glasses through which we see the world.
- We need to be flexible, so as to be able to attach from our values in order to serve the clients goals.
- Walk in the client's context, move out of your arena.

- Homework: Identify a goal, recognize the belief on which you have set the goal.  Ask if it is a supporting belief or an expectation.  Is it supporting me?

Part 2) 1/16/2012  12pm

Underlying beliefs are based on our values and experiences

How can we help our clients/ourselves get out of underlying beliefs that are not supporting us?

-         Need awareness

-         If we change our perspective (our thinking) could we change our underlying beliefs?

-         Change of beliefs + change in thoughts = change in behavior

-         Rational Emotive Therapy/Cognitive restructuring. Activating events + Beliefs = Consequence (behavior/emotion). Most times you can’t change the Activating event (life events), but you can change Beliefs (cognitive restructuring/change perspective). Changing your Beliefs about an activating event can result in a change in the Consequence behavior/emotions.

1. Identify what you want to change - a behavior or an emotion

- What is a behavior pattern that doesn’t support you?

- What emotions/feelings are you having that do not support you?

2. Become aware of what underlying beliefs make you behave that way.

3. Take action: Change underlying belief to change non-supporting behaviors and feelings.

Prioritize what you need to get done instead of getting overwhelmed

Techniques to help client make shifting their underlying beliefs:

- Create awareness What is the problem? With awareness, you can move towards change (action steps). For example, I am sometimes controlling (behavior). Why? What belief/emotion is the cause of this behavior? I need to be in control. If I am not, then….  Fearful of what? From there we can look at our fear and shift our perspective.  With awareness comes change.

- Feed forward by Marshall Goldsmith technique ( http://www.marshallgoldsmithfeedforward.com/). Identify behavior you want to change, and then ask a college if they will tell you if you have made a change within a given amount of time. You are asking for feed forward (person asking for it), whereas feedback, the person gives feedback, without necessarily asking for it and may get defensive.  When you think of giving feedback, try giving feedforward - focus on the promise of the future rather than the mistakes of the past. Instead of rehashing a past that cannot be changed (feedback), Marshall Goldsmith and Jon Katzenbach coined “feedforward” to encourage spending time creating a future.

- Accountability – Have the client email you between sessions with updates to ensure they are on track.

- Visualization (+) and role play (+ or -)

Use journal:

-         Gratitude journal

-         Win journal/what you want to change