Trust Vs. Doubt is one of the coaching power tools that can help create self-awareness and reframing (perspective shifts from disempowering perspective to empowering perspective).
- Doubt about future is worry, doubt about people is distrust, doubting self is inferiority, doubt in God is unbelief, doubt in everything is skepticism.
- Doubt is calling into question.
- Doubt has value: used to reflect and encourage self-awareness. What is causing this feeling of doubt? Is it an underlying belief, a pattern of thought, self-talk?
- Doubt can stop us. Doubt loop - doubt becomes a loop in our head that can prohibit action.
- Ask yourself: What of the situation can I trust? You cannot control many things, but you can control yourself. What can you trust in? Trust in ability to learn when faced with a new experience (of course you are going to feel unsure, because it is a new experience...but you can trust that you will learn, even if it is learning from a mistake).
- What is holding you back? What is the cause of the doubt or fear?
- Bill asked, "What would you do if '+ reaction'" "What would you do if '- reaction'" Helps client face doubt.
- Example of being nervous about getting paying clients. Student came to conclusion that he needs to trust that he is worth the investment.
- "My name is Bill and I am a recovering perfectionist." Being a perfectionist breads doubt. Recognize what you cannot or do not need to control.
- Identify something that you can trust in. I.e. I trust that I am more educated than my students in the subject I teach and thus I have something I can offer them.
- Shift in perspective (choice) that inspires you to move forward. You do not need to have all the answers before you try. Confidence in your ability to learn, trust in your ability to learn even if it is learning from a mistake takes you from inaction (doubt) to action. And the more times you practice (action) the less doubt you will have. Move forward and you will get better.
- Work on a plan to get out of doubt loop. Action gets us beyond our doubts.
- Underlying beliefs drive behavior. When we have doubt, it is a good opportunity to dig deeper and become more self-aware. What is the underlying belief at the core of this doubt? Recognize it, acknowledge it, and move on.
- Doubt = disempowerment and inaction. Trust = empowering and action.
- Step out of your comfort zone. To move from doubt to trust, take action. Action gets rid of doubt. Act of doing it brings about trust in your ability. Doubt your doubt. Put trust elsewhere (Trust that action will get rid of your doubt!).
Part 2) 1/17/2012 2pm
Techniques to move client past a place of doubt (disempowering) to trust (empowering)?
- affirming statements, look at self-talk is it empowering or disempowering?
- perspective change/reframing
- set little goals to build up to greater goal, get the ball rolling, less overwhelming
- focus them on what they can do, not what they can’t do
- ask client to think about 3-5 things you have been successful at
- write 20 “I am…” statements to focus on “can do,” + takes place of –
- visualization/imagine trust
- encourage client to give themselves permission to open the door to opportunity
- build on past successes
- explore what triggers doubt, past experiences? Is it really true or just their perspective? If true, what did they learn?
- use empowering, positive language (see below voice of trust/doubt)
Take a step out of the situation for a minute (3rd person view); see yourself as someone else for a moment:
- What is this person feeling?
- What do you think this person needs?
- Do you think you can give that to the person?
Our perspective truly determines our lives.
- What perspective is really leading your life Are we living in doubt or trust?
- What is the difference between living in trust and doubt? Attitude, perspective
- What would you do if you trusted yourself 100%? What would your life be like? What would you do differently? What areas would you step out into if you were 100% trusting of yourself? How would your life be different? How can you truly live in a place of trust?
Trusting of ourselves means:
- using our natural talents
- listening to our deepest wisdom
- living our dreams
Doubt and self-esteem are connected.
Voice of doubt
- I can’t…
- I’m not beautiful enough…
- They won’t accept me.
- They don’t like me…
Voice of trust
- I am more than enough.
- I am perfect just the way I am.
- I love the person I am.
- Nothing is impossible.
- I always choose to love.
- I create my own abundant happiness.
Self-doubt is to have a dream, but not take the action to achieve it.
Trust is to have a dream, break it into small steps, and take actions to achieving the dream.
